Don’t look for "Mr. Right" - become the "Right one”
ReadyWriter Production Company was an exhibitor at the “Harlem Book fair” in New York City on Saturday July 21, 2007. This was my third year as an exhibitor and I must say; it was better organized from what I’ve experienced in the past. What helped was the fact that my staff really had it together, they were well organized and simultaneously on point with the registration process as well as the set-up and break down of my booth location. Kudos to my Senior PR Manager and Junior Associate!
However let me get to the issue at hand, many sistahs are curious about my tell-all true novel “Conversations Of A SISTAH” The Truth And The Myth About Praying For A Mate. They flocked to my booth, read the title, skimmed through the book, and then asked the following questions; “Is this a how to novel?” My answer, "NO" “Do you have a mate?” I gave them another "NO", “Then what is the book about?” Many women tried grilling this answer out of me throughout the day. The younger women wanted these questions answered, while older and mature women were exuberant by the title, simply allowing their imaginations to run wild with the mystery of what was said behind the cover of this book. My answer was as simple as this, “This is my story, and this was my experience, the conversations are between my girlfriends and I, and they are real”. My answer still wasn’t enough, “Then what is the truth and the myth about praying for a mate?” My answer extended with; “I’m a prayerful being, therefore I prayed about situations in my life at the time and discovered that; through these experiences, there is a truth and a myth concerning any given manifestation”. This girl looked at me in awe, and in my mind I was thinking; “Damn!” some sistahs really want the answer to finding, having and obtaining a happy relationship. Some sistahs were turned off completely, while others want the answers on how to find Mr. Right. So, are women looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right now?
The world has really gotten it twisted, women shouldn’t be looking for a man, the man should be looking for the woman. This is why I truly enjoyed Tyler Perry’s article in Essence magazine; he knows his place and his role as a man. This is the quote from Essence magazine’s August issue; you should know that Perry can't stand it when a woman chases him. "It's a total turnoff for me," he says simply. "I'm a go-getter, a fighter, a provider, and I feel like I need to chase." In this same issue, Tyler also mentioned failed relationships and the right woman for him. But despite Tyler Perry’s past hurts and pain, this is how he feels as a result; he has grown into the right person for someone else to marry. In the meantime, people have dream lists of what they want their ideal mates to have, i.e.., the looks, the money, the house, the fine car, the ideal job or career. Yet heavy, ugly and poor don’t make these lists because these types are not considered the ideal mate, instead they’re considered rejects; therefore when considering thoughts for your ideal mate, you should be just as equivalent with regard to your expectations. You should be happy and in love with you, so that you are mentally and emotionally secure in a relationship with someone else. You should also, be yourself and know yourself, so you don’t lose yourself.
I’ve come a long way since “Conversations Of A SISTAH” The Truth And The Myth About Praying For A Mate; I’m definitely not the person who released that book four years ago. I have a different perspective with what I desire for my life; I’m no longer praying for a mate but I’ve become the right mate. I’m happy in my role and secure in my profession. I’ve redirected my objectives and evolved in the process. I now know, whose I am and what I’m destined to be. I value my time and love my space. When I reminisce on past relationships and disappointments, I know that because of those experiences, I’ve grown into the right person but… for someone else to marry. With that in mind, I’ve determined my self-worth and gladly move toward my future.
